Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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