I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
