You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
