He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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