Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
