the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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