it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
