I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
