i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
