I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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