Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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