He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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