I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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