Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Randomize
