Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
