I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
