cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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