Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
