try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
sex in a hospital.. check
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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