I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
