what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
