I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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