I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So much Jack, so little girl.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
