Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
