after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
