what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
