You're earring is so big in my mouth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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