youre lurking in front of me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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