dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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