craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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