i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
