im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
God, I missed his penis.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
