its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
