I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My dick has a subreddit
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
