Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
