I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
