but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
