i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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