you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just cut my nipple shaving
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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