a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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