Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
