he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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