is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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