Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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