I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
