i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
