What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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