I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
