do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
