Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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